” Shur I wanted to be the next 50 cent as well as the next man…but time has a funny way of making you turn to burgers” said jaded faded wanna be Irish pop star Milky Twiddlers last night.He was speaking in the wake of his ‘outtadaf**kingblue’ Golden Globe award for –worst song in recording history– .It’s now an anachronism of a song as it was recorded during the so called Celtic Tiger era when Ireland deluded itself it was more akin to Boston than Berlin before going on to pay bond holders billions and thus proving it was more Berlin during the Weimar Republic’s hyperinflation Fest of the 1920s

Left Berlin 1923 Right Dublin 2008

Prior to this his only claim to fame was as Eurovision 1905 song contest winner Dana’s manager ‘she smelt the money and was real real gone before I knew it ,pulled da f**king rug from under me she did …but I ain’t bitter man’

He is reticent to discuss archive footage from Ireland’s national broadcaster RTE which has emerged since his stroke of luck .Entitled -Milky Over America Tour- it appears to show him in a poor light with possible young groupies being ushered from his motel room ,a mysterious man called Michael is regularly referred to in the grainy video

see it here http://bit.ly/2j3Ms86

‘Shur I wouldn’t mind that RTE a shower of interbred wasters of taxpayers money ya can only get in if yer gay and I don’t mean Byrne (Gay Byrne Ireland’s top Broadcaster) or related to someone dere like the f**kin Illuminati of nepotism every so often ye might get a few good knicker flashers on da news like but that’s about it.RTE tis like f**king Iraq …ya can’t get in and if when ya do ya ye can’t get out,I wouldn’t give a fiddlers fart about whatever smear campaign dere cookin’ like’

Milky Twiddlers remained tight lipped on any plans for a comeback tour.

His only comment was ‘spit on me Dicky’

Mark Manning

Is a broadcaster who’ll never get into RTE(who’d have guessed 🙂 ) and voice over artist,

his debut novel THE MAN WHO CHASED JOGGERS Is taking Amazon Kindle by calm.